I have been crying like a baby, literally. I'm facing this stupid love life problem and it affects my friendships. Then I've been sharing a lot, with tears held. I tried to be strong, but I just couldn't.
I know, I kept on being so selfish. I blamed them, when there were actually no one should be.
And finally, a person enlighten me. She is right. I only cared about how I felt without thinking why it happened. She had made me realized what made everything turn this way. Yes, it's no one else but me myself. I blundered, I messed things up, I ruined everything. Thus, I deserve all these pain and hatred.
All these time, I haven't been good enough. I do think about how my best friends would feel about me, but I didn't do it well. I still hurt them. And now, one has been very disappointed in me. I know, my apologize won't be enough to pay anything, but I am really sorry.
Sigh. I don't know why I have a different point of view with a lot of people. Is it wrong when you do what you think is right, but is wrong in others' eyes? Is it wrong if you couldn't be what others want you to be? Is it wrong if you couldn't have the same feeling like others have in you? Is it wrong to expect more?
I am typing this whilst crying. I don't know if it happens to anyone reading my blog. But if I publish this post, will it be another mistake? If I change and be a better person now, will it be too late? If I end everything, will it be another regrets?
it's all my bad
xx
